a month old of being dumped

Update….

So it’s been a month since she dumped me… My ex has not initiated contact once in the 4 weeks since she left me. No text saying I miss you or how are you. Nothing. Maybe I think too much.

Although I am little bit focus now still this feeling so strong she keeps lingering on my mind. I sent her a voice message saying "always take care" but as expected no reaction no thank you or anything.

She’s been enjoying life recently, although it hurts to not be a part of that,  it also make me sad thinking about  what should I do to win her back.

I decided to be silent in a week I have to make my self busy in 5 days, to not even wondering what I’ve been up to. During these days it just pop up those pictures that made me so angry with a mixture of being back stabbed I don’t know she really distanced herself completely.

 I keep asking my self why these are all happening, do I deserve this, why I cannot let go? again and again, but no definite answer as of now, or may be I am still not accepting the fact that she’s not mine anymore that I am still hoping that there’s still hope left.

sana may reset ang puso…

I talk to her recently through chat, I admit I am still looking for any possibilities that she would tell to make things patch up. Unfortunately I was wrong and I knew it will never gonna happen.

Minsan iniisip ko ganito ba ako kabobo, ganito ba ako kabagal mag isip, ganito ba ako ka-martir para tanggapin lahat nang pasakit na ito, sobrang panget ko ba (kasalanan kobang hindi ko kamukha si manny paquiao), kailangan ko bang itutok ang kamao ko kapag nag papa picture?, ano bang mali sa akin para maramdaman ko ang pain na nararanasan ko ngayon?

Sana isang umaga magising nalang ako na parang walang nang yari, na ok ang lahat back to normal, how i wish naging computer nalang ako para isang pindot lang nang reset button isang scandisk lang tanggal na lahat nang error back to normal state na ulit, sana may reset button ang puso at isip ko para hindi kona maramdaman ang mga ito.

Sana ganun lang kadali…

Girlfriends will come and go

One thing I’ve learned in the past few weeks, is that girlfriends will come and go, but friends & family will always be there. I would say that I have come out of this better than she has (not that it’s a competition!), as she is losing a lot of respect with the way she has been acting recently.

I have been asking myself the question, would I really want her back now? To be honest, I still do not know the answer to that question. I do still have a lot of love for her though.

a hell of a day

it’s friday again as usual taong bahay nanaman, walang mapuntahan di makalabas sobra ang sand storm parang katapusan na nang mundo. medyo late na nga ako nagising, mag va vacum sana ako kaya lang wala ako sa mood masama ang pakiramdam ko at parang ta trangkasuhin ako. buti nalang at naka inom agad ako nang gamot parang drugs ang lakas nang amats, droggy ako habang nanonood nang tv.

isa lang ang natatandaan ko sa araw na ito  pahirap talaga, ewan ko ba i try to release it, i try to enjoy my self but it so strong hindi ko sya maalis sa isipan ko.

masyadong nalulong ako sa sobrang pagmamahal na mag papahirap lang pala sa akin, gabi na pero wasted padin ako hanggang sa abutan nako nang mag hahating gabi. pinilit kong mahiga at matulog pero walang antok, kahit patay na ang ilaw puro mukha mo padin ang nakikita ko. ang lugar na tulugan ko iniwan ko nilibang ang sarili nanood nang tv, walang pag asa mababaliw yata ako. buti nalang may awa padin ang Diyos sakin at diko nalang namalayan na inaantok nako.

2:30 am na pala itinuloy ko ang tulog ko sa kwarto ko ayan nanaman pilit sumisiksik, umalis kana maawa ka sakin patulugin mo ako…

umaga na pala papasok na pala ako what hell of a day…. puyat ako lintek. 

Valentines Day

Araw nang pusong nag iibigan, araw nang pusong puno nang kasiyahan.
Para sa inyo oo araw nyo yan mag pakasaya kayo hanggat may pag mamahalan sa puso nyo.

Kailangan pabang dumating ang araw na ito para maipadama ang pag mamahal sa isat-isa? Ano nga ba ang Valentines day?

- araw nang mga pusong puno nang pag-ibig
- araw nang mga mag sing irog
- araw nang putukan
- araw nang mga flower vendor
- araw nang mga nasa linya nang motel business sang damak mak na mag sing irog at mga nag lolokohan
- araw nang mga restaurant punong puno nang tao ang laki nang kita
- araw ni junior dito sa araw sya nabuo
- araw nang pag hihiwalay
- araw na kasumpa sumpa dahil ikaw ay iniwan
- araw na ayaw mo nang dumating.

 tiniis kita nitong araw na ito, ewan ko siguro ay masayang masaya ka sa buhay mo ngayon.  magpakasaya ka sa mga prutas na yan sana ay di nya yan nilagyan nang gayuma.

pabalat

Hi to anyone that is reading this damn blog

 It’s been a while since I posted, not much new except for the pain that I am currently experiencing in my life. I don’t know how to start, I don’t know how to say things that you can feel how badly I am going through these past few days.

 All I know is to love

 I thought that I found the one but it seems that I was wrong…